In His Mind
by doro500
Summary: Enter the mind and follow the story of Jericho, the blond mute, as he experiences what it is like to be a Titan.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything! It would be very gracious of you to comment :)

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><p>The yellow haired teen ran quickly in the forest, brushing aside branches and twigs just milliseconds before they flew straight on his face. He panted. Heavily. But continued to run nonetheless.<p>

He could sense he was being chased. By whom, he wasn't sure, but he knew he had to escape. In a reckless gesture he leaned his head slightly, trying to look at his pursuer, but this was followed by an immediate thump as he fell right on the ground. "No!" he screamed in his thoughts, but as usual, as the way he has been living for such a long time, no voice came out of his mouth. He dared not look back, surrounded by shrubbery and his speeding breath, and then everything went black. He could not see a thing, and he felt a souring pain in his eyes, but after reaching for them, trying to rub the dark away, his eyes were no longer there, and only hollow eye sockets remained. "No! My eyes!" He shouted in his mind, almost hearing it in his ears. The blindness seemed to be deeper than just not being able to see, but also as if a part of his soul was ripped away. Even with no eyes, he felt as if he was going to burst into tears, but suddenly at all faded away…

-TT-

Jericho woke up with cold sweat, scurrying for a mirror, knowing there was one on his dresser. He grabbed it tightly and watched his reflection. His eyes were still there, glowing with their emerald shine. He sighed a long released breath as the door hastily opened, Herald almost shouting, "Jericho! Are you alright? I thought I heard you… I thought I heard something…". The mute signed while smiling a slightly forced grin at his friend. _Nothing. Just a bad dream._ Herald relaxed his muscles. "Well, if there is any trouble, just push the emergency button". Jericho felt for a moment that he was being treated like an elderly person who couldn't take care of himself, but that emotion quickly faded, as he knew that his friend had only the best intentions in mind. he signed to his friend a swift _Goodnight_ as Herald left the room.

Sleeping wasn't in his mind at all, and each night made him wearier for the concept of sleep in general. Jericho disliked losing control like he had in his nightmares, after all, his whole essence was all about control. His powers forced him to make sure he is in control, lest he not be shoved violently out of the body he was possessing. He never tried to account the number or identity of the various bodies that he has possessed over the years. After all, they were just **bodies**, weren't they? Jericho used to think that, but that thought had proved to painfully false. With each body came memories, the things that make the body- a person. And those fragmented memories of so many different people, so many different lives… They could drive someone insane. But Jericho clanged quite bravely to his sanity, and retained composure that many of his fellow Titans envied.

But those dreams, those freighting hallucinations that haunted him, of losing his eyes… His power… His gateway to a world he no longer has a voice in… It was a dreadful thought. But his body gave up as he fell into a graceful slumber, blissfully dreamless. And when he woke up, the sunlight had almost caught up to his eyes, but he was able to avoid the blindness that the bright light invited, as it was every morning. After all, he hated to feel blind.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own anything! I would love it if you would be so kind as to comment :)

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><p>The Titans South tower, though rather new, began feeling quite homey to Jericho. Admittedly, he would have preferred a better choice of teammates: Pantha and Wildebeest were a little too… Aggressive for his style, and Hotspot was no delicate flower either. But at least he had Herald, who had proven to be a dear friend of his. Jericho's own room wasn't reminiscent of his mountain he used to abide in, but allowed him to have a fresh start. He used to be a loner, living in a mountaintop and all, but meeting the Titans was a change he did not regret. Ever since Beast Boy handed him the communicator, and through the defeat of The Brotherhood Of Evil, he felt like he was part of something larger.<p>

The alarm went off, flickering red lights and emitting sirens that Jericho has yet to get used to. The five Titans met at the common room, and Jericho signed _What is it?_ to his teammates. "Rock, Paper, and Scissors" Pantha exclaimed, "Making trouble at the mall". No one admitted it in the open, but Pantha became an unofficial leader to the group, on account of Wildebeest and Jericho's inability to speak, Hotspot having no leadership abilities whatsoever, and Herald's reluctance to take the mantle of leader. Herald swiftly opened a portal with his horn straight to their destination, an ability which had proven herself to be very useful, and the team got ready for battle.

-TT-

The idea of fighting villains, of helping the innocent- innocent just like he was, or at least used to be- rushed adrenalin that pumped through Jericho's veins every time the famous battle cry was heard. "Titans- GO!" Pantha shouted, as the three foes shifted their focus from wrecking haphazardly towards the Titans. The Titans South had rigorous battle training, and eventually were able to form some kind of teamwork. Jericho took pride in their combined efforts that grew more and more coordinated every time.

"Look Rock! Play-things!" taunted Scissors. Unfortunately for him, he was forcefully pushed aside by Wildebeest, while Rock had an enthusiastic battle with Pantha. Hotspot charged ahead at Paper, hissing "Are you ready to get burnet?", which was followed by a miraculous bolt of fire (Jericho still had that primal awe when witnessing other people preforming super-natural feats such as this) which itself was met with Paper elegantly stretching herself into dodging. Herald and Jericho waited eagerly to perform their part, which should hopefully be the finishing blow. Wildebeest wailed due to Scissors wounding him deeply on the chest, while Pantha held Rock to the ground and shouted to the two bystanders: "Herald, ready?"

"I'm always ready" he playfully replied and then sounded his own battle cry from his horn, opening a rift in front of Pantha and Rock. Jericho was tempted to wonder where these portals really lead to. He had been in Herald's dimension, and he doubted the Herald simply litters it with bad guys and random objects. But he had no time to wonder as Pantha smashed Rock's head to the floor and then pushed her into the rift created by Herald. "Com'on Jericho, are you ready for you moment to shine?" Herald said. That saying made Jericho slightly nervous. He was very anxious when the spotlight was aimed at him, it made him uncomfortable, pestered by the thought that he might blow it and disappoint everyone. But it was not the moment to hesitate.

Jericho nodded affirmatively and Herald closed the portal which now contained Rock and opened it above both of them. Since they did this trick when they fought The Brotherhood Of Evil they took a liking to it, and repeated it quite a few times. Rock thumped heftily on two tables that were crushed beneath her, and Jericho darted to her side, and turned her head so that he could clearly see her eyes. _Contact_. He phased into the husky girl's body and after a blink he saw through her eyes. Memories and thoughts came to surface, but Jericho had to brush them away. He had a mission. With fierce determination he charged toward Scissors, who exchanged cuts for bruises with Wildebeest, and slammed him violently into the wall. Rock's mass seemed to have almost broken Scissors in half, but Jericho had no time to think of that and phased from the burly girl to the relatively much more petite boy. A new body, in an instant. A new mind to adjust to, new memories to suppress. But Jericho was experienced in what could be mind boggling to anyone who haven't done such a thing before, and launched at his next target. Paper and Hotspot seemed to do an awkward cycle of attacking and missing, which was literally cut abruptly when Jericho in Scissors' body sliced Paper in elegant and coordinated motions. After all, the bodies he possesses do come with some sort of instructions. Paper had no choice but to cringe back to her regular, mortal looking form. Jericho then quickly de-possessed Scissors, leaving the three unconscious and his teammates very proud. But besides the feeling of victory, he had that feeling of going back to his own body, to have his thoughts and his thoughts alone in his head. It was like the feeling of coming home.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I (still) don't own anything. What a shame, no? Anyway, there is much drama planned ahead...hehehe...

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><p>The victory celebration was nice: they ordered pizza, made a few bad impressions of their opponents. "Then I was like 'Ready to get burnt?', and she was like 'Nu-uh!' and she just kept avoiding my fire blasts! Thank god Joey showed to save the day" Hotspot babbled with a wink as he shoved Jericho's shoulder. "You were really great, man" Herald cheered. Jericho felt a little undeserving, and signed <em>It was all of us!<em> A little clichéd, but Jericho was always the modest one. They continued to laugh some more until it was way too late, and the others were planning on going to sleep. "Staying up late again?" Herald asked, to be replied with a forced smile and a signing of _Just a little while longer_. Lying in signing is much easier than lying with words, which was very convenient.

Jericho did anything to keep him from sleeping. He watched some TV, even though he found it boring and shallow, then he made himself a little midnight snack, perhaps to give him a little more energy, and eventually determined to read a book. He snuggled in his bed with "The Bardic Tales", which he found in a second hand bookstore in one of his strolls through the city. Even though he tried to force himself to stay awake, drowsiness eventually took over him, and he drifted into sleep…

-TT-

Running again. Faster. This time in a city street. The street was completely vacant, and it was shaded in midnight colors. He ran past street signs with no words, and buildings with no inhabitants. Despite the fact that there were no footsteps or in fact any sound behind him, he knew that there was something there. Something he had to get away from. The city lights flickered and then went out as he ran past them. In a momentary whim he decided to turn to an alleyway, and hid there. It was dark, but he felt safe there. He reached out his head and looked back to wherever he was running from, but felt a sudden bash on his head and he fell down, tasting the dirty sidewalk.

When he tried to open his eyes again, he could not see. Just like in all the dreams before. Even though he knew what was happening, he touched his face frantically, trying to locate his missing eyes, but to no avail. His sockets were left as black holes with no contents, no sight, no power... But a frightening noise tore this reality away with flashing lights and screeching sirens, as Jericho woke up to the sound of the alarm.

-TT-

The group stood, still heavy-eyed, in front of the main computer. "Who is it this time, in this hour?" Hotspot grouched. Wildebeest grunted in agreement. "Someone is trying to rob the bank in 5th avenue" Pantha said. _Do we know who is it?_ Jericho signed. "No. Doesn't say anything".

They reached the bank, which was closed. "Weird" Herald noted, "There's no sign of a breakthrough…". _So how do we get in?_ Wildebeest slammed his head through the door and it flew inside. _Oh._ Jericho signed for himself.

As they went in, they heard a shuffling sound of money. Pantha turned on the lights as everyone looked around until Hotspot pointed to the back of one of the tellers' booths "There he is! Whoever you are, get out with your hands up!". A thin, tall man, wearing only black and a black wool hat turned around. The whiteness of his skin was a bright contrast to his pitch black clothes. The man put his hands up in the air and said "Ok, you got me." Hotspot went toward him, "Well, that was eas-Oof!" as Hotspot's mouth was interrupted by the man's foot. "Now now, you don't think it would be THAT easy, do you?" the man said. Pantha and Wildebeest charged with Herald and Jericho not far behind, while Hotspot tried to regain his senses. Both Pantha and Wildebeest pinned the man to the wall. "Who are you, anyway?" Herald asked the man as he approached. "My name is Monochrome, and you are?"

"We are the Titans South! And you are going to jail to pay for your crime!" Pantha roared. But with a blink, the man disappeared from the brutes' grip leaving them holding only smoke. The Titans looked at each other in confusion, until he reappeared holding the bag of money, bills still dropping out of it. "What, this?" He sneered. "Very funny" Hotspot taunted back, and gave a slight cry as he burst a pillar of flame towards him, but all was left was smoke. "You're not very good at aiming, are you" They heard his voice, and saw him falling from above as he gave Hotspot a ferocious kick and knocked him aside. The other four charged, but he dodged practically every attack and hit back bashing them aside. "Well, this was fun, but I think I'll go now" he smirked, but as he turned around he was staring right through Jericho's bright green eyes.

_Contact_. Jericho phased into Monochrome's body, easing himself into his mind, but memories kept attacking him forcefully, as Monochrome's mind fought for control. Jericho saw flashes of pictures and events. A young boy beaten up by his father, a bloody knife and a child's eerie grin, dozens of faces, bleeding, pleading, and Monochrome standing and laughing.

Jericho had seen many people's memories, including various criminals, but he has yet to encounter a mind so twisted. Murderous visions engulfed him, all drenched in a madman's laughter. "Get out of my mind!" Monochrome screamed and Jericho felt a great shove as he was thrust outside Monochrome's body. Both men were lying on the floor, gasping. Monochrome stared at Jericho for a moment, but quickly turned away as he disappeared, leaving only a trail of black and white smoke.

-TT-

After the team came back to the tower, defeated, they noticed a blue flash on their main computer. _What does that mean?_ Jericho signed, still shuddering from his shaking experience. "It's a message" Hotspot said, and pushed the keyboard. Beast Boy's green smiling face filled the screen. "Calling all Titans! Calling all Titans! This weekend you are all called to the main Titan Tower to an EMERGENCY PARTY! What's the occasion, you ask? Well, it's the birthday of the one and only, green teen animal machine- yours truly! So take a little break from crime fighting, and don't forget- Clothes are sucky presents, so bring me something good. Beast Boy out!". The group of five weary Titans looked at each other with confusion. Herald quickly declared "I'm not buying the present!".


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own anything. If I did, I'd force them to make a sixth season.

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><p>Jericho pondered about how his life changed since he joined the Titans. He still remembers his days on the mountain…quiet, serene, but alone. Jericho had a very gentle nature, not the stuff heroes are made of, and that's why he ran from everything: the bursting cities, the crowds of people, the violence surrounding them, the suffering. Living on the mountain had many perks, as he could play his guitar, nurture his flowers, be close to nature, and enjoy the silence. <strong>Silence<strong>. That word haunts Jericho, who is trapped in his own mute body, without a voice, without sound. People have a hard time adjusting to it, even Herald, who tried so hard. "So Jericho, what do you say…Oh, right" "Jericho, just shout…Um, I mean press the alarm button", all the "Umm"s and "Oh"s and "Oops" were starting to get on his nerves.

And now, things are different. He didn't run from the suffering and the violence. He helped stop them. And that gave him a feeling he never had before- Pride. He was proud of all the good he's done, all the people he helped. True, it was tough getting used to the fighting, but the thrill of the battle that his friends had was definitely starting to sink into him. But more than that, he had friends, people who cared, people to listen to his laughless laugh, a family. A **real** family.

-TT-

"Everyone ready to go?" Herald asked the group. They all nodded in agreement. _So, what did you buy him?_ Jericho signed to Hotspot. "Roller skates". _Good idea_. Herald opened the portal with festive trumpet sound, and the main Titans Tower opened before them. Hotspot commented "This should be interesting" as they stepped inside.

-TT-

When they entered the Tower, they were greeted with a joyful Starfire. Jericho wondered if she is ever not joyful. "Welcome Titans South to our humble abode!". "This is humble?" Pantha asked sarcastically, but Starfire ignored her and went on. "Please help yourself to the bars of chocolate, and the chips of saltiness, and the punch of gooeyness and not hurtfulness!" Starfire announced and whisked away to nudge other Titans. Herald whispered in Jericho's ear "If Beast Boy made the punch, I wouldn't count on it not being hurtful", and Jericho smiled his amused smile, as they went on to mingle with the others.

Jericho haven't seen most of the Titans since the defeat-of-Brotherhood-Of-Evil-after-party, and tried to recognize their faces. He immediately spotted Mas and Menos, since one of them was with him when they assaulted the Brotherhood's base, though he couldn't remember which one. He also saw that girl with the silver skin- she was really hard to miss- though he couldn't recall her name…Titanium, maybe? Besides them he recognized the five original Titans: Starfire continued to speak in a disturbingly high pitched voiced. Raven was in the corner, murmuring to herself. Robin was talking to Aqualad and the one who looked exactly like Robin, but with arrows. Cyborg and Beast Boy were blindfolded and were trying to hit a piñata shaped like Dr. Light.

Also there was the pink haired girl. Kole. He didn't see her much, but her image stayed in his mind for a long time. There was something about her… She was so… Happy. Eventually he found himself staring, and when she noticed she gave him a warm smile, and then kept talking to Starfire.

-TT-

The party was definitely fun, even though Jericho was never at a real party. They made Beast Boy a cake, and everyone sang him "Happy Birthday". At that moment, Jericho felt a little pinch in his heart. Once again, he's helpless, desperate to fit in, but incapable. Maybe a little fresh air would clean his thoughts.

Jericho sat at the shore, throwing pebbles to the horizon, gazing at the mountains. Maybe that's where he belongs. Far away from others, only soaked in his own silence. His contemplations were interjected by a small voice from behind him. "What are you looking at here, all alone, when the party is up there?" He turned around to find Kole, smiling with a compassionate look in her deep blue eyes. _Just thinking_ he signed. "Sorry, my sign language is a little rusty" she noted. Jericho paused for a second, then reached for his pocket and took out a pen and a bunch of small papers. Kole sat next to him. "Just thinking" He wrote hastily. "Why think so much? Party. Have a little fun!". "I don't know… I don't quite fit in. Muteness and all" "Oh…". Another "Oh" to add to the list. Kole stopped to look to the distance, and then turned to Jericho. "You can possess people, right?". Jericho nodded. "Have you ever thought of finding another body? Having a voice?". Jericho scribbled on the paper "I'd rather stay in my own body". Kole smiled. "You're right. Anyway, I like the way you are" she said, as she put her small, warm hand on his. Jericho blushed slightly as a sweet smell filled the air. Kole yawned "All this partying made me sleepy, maybe a relaxing nap is a good idea". She put her head in his lap, and Jericho's cheeks turned scarlet. He stroked Kole's pink hair for a second, and then fell asleep himself.

When he woke up, he was anything but relaxed.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own anything; How tragic. The drama reaches it's peak with this finale. Comments will be much appreciated. :)

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><p>When Jericho regained his consciousness, he felt a cold leather tingle on his eyelids- He was blindfolded. His muscles were aching, as he was apparently strapped to a metal board, vertically. He could still move his head, slightly, but his exploration was halted as he heard a maniacal laughter coming near him.<p>

That laughter, the laughter of a true madman… It was familiar to Jericho… As if that laughter was ringing in his head. Jericho froze in horror. Monochrome. The terrible fragmented memories rushed again through his mind. And even though he could not see it, Jericho's skin went pale as a dead body.

He felt cold hands around his head, and as he shuddered, the blindfold was removed. "That's my chance!" Jericho anticipated. And indeed, Monochrome's face confronted him, but his eyes were covered with highly tinted sunglasses that encompassed any trace of possibility for Jericho to possess him.

"Wakey wakey" Monochrome taunted Jericho. "For a minute there I thought you wouldn't wake up, and that wouldn't be any fun, now would it?". Jericho stared straight into Monochromes eyes, or at least the place they were hidden in. Monochrome's face had a crazed shine engraved upon them. Jericho struggled with his bindings, but couldn't budge. "Your friend woke up a little before you, but unfortunately, she is hard to crack" Monochrome stated, with a chuckle. Kole! Jericho franticly wiggled his head until he could see her, to his left, in her crystal form. A frightened look inscribed on her glistening face. Monochrome turned to Jericho. "Now-" he was interrupted by Kole, who changed to her human form "Stop! Please!" she cried. "SHUT UP!" Monochrome shouted, and with a deadly swift motion pulled a small knife from his belt and hurled it straight at Kole, hitting her shoulder. Kole cried with anguish, as blood started dripping through her shirt where the knife was etched in her flesh. She immediately tuned into her crystal form, with the line of blood coagulating and turning to a red imprint on her clear crystal body.

Jericho flamed with anger, as if his soul turned to a roaring lion. He fought with the straps that clenched him, he wanted to shout, to yell from the top of his lungs. But once again, he was paralyzed. Monochrome turned to Jericho. "Well, now that that's taken care of, it's time to teach you, my little friend, a lesson". Monochrome turned his back to Jericho, and lifted something from what seemed to be a rectangular metal plate. He turned again, with a demented look on his face, holding what looked like a large fork with extremely sharp edges and a deep, circular, spoonish body. Jericho gazed in horror at the infernal instrument. He knew exactly what it was for. Jericho's eyes began tearing up as Monochrome barked "This will teach you to stay out of other people's bodies!".

He closed in to Jericho's face, as salty tears covered it, and Jericho could taste his own fear in his mouth. Monochrome pierced the blades into Jericho's eye, and his salty tears turned red, soiled with blood. The pain was agonizing, and Jericho felt every stab, cutting deeper into his sockets. His left eye was completely removed, and through the sheer trauma of what was happening he could see Monochrome placing his eye on the metal plate, his own emerald iris destitute and mucked with blood, looking at him powerlessly. Monochrome repeated the procedure on the right eye with disquieting precision, and Jericho began to lose consciousness, blind.

But in his last shred of awareness he heard a powerful blast and felt a whiff of air, as his fellow Titans stormed into Monochromes lair. Jericho heard Raven shout "You know, kidnapping Titans from Titans Tower when all of us are there isn't really a bright idea" followed by a terrible yell and a girly British voice screaming "OH MY GOD! He gouged his eyes out!" with a final breath of wakefulness, Jericho heard a brewing battle, and then blacked out completely.

-TT-

When he regained consciousness, he was in what felt like a hospital bed, with bandages covering his now empty eye sockets. Jericho straightened up suddenly, only to feel a warm embrace on his hand, and Kole shouting with a broken voice "He's awake!".

A few Titans walked in the room. He could sense someone, but didn't know who. "Jericho, you had quite a traumatic experience, but we took you back to the Tower" He heard Robin's reassuring voice. Jericho gasped for breath, and hysterically put his hands on his eye sockets' bandages. "They're gone" Robin said sadly. "But you're still here" Kole remarked. "And that's what's important". Jericho rested his arms, and then held them up to sign, hoping he didn't mess up the silent words. _But what good am I now? I can't do anything! I don't have my power! I can't be a Titan anymore!_ "It doesn't matter if you have a power or not, you'll always be one of us" He heard Herald's voice. Jericho frowned and put his hands on his face, covering his grim look. Kole patted his shoulder. He heard Raven say "Maybe we should leave him alone for a while, let him digest what happened", and then heard their footsteps as they exited. "That means you too Kole" Robin said, and Kole looked at Robin, then at Jericho, and gave him the softest kiss on the forehead, and walked away. Jericho was left all alone.

Jericho laid his head on the warm pillow, and he began reflecting. Now he is mute **and** blind. A worthless person, a hopeless case. His powers are gone, he is trapped forever in his caged body, with no means of communication. He has never really longed to be in another body as he did now. What will they think of me? A charity case. His disability no longer invisible. The "Umm"s and "Oh"s will be replaced with "It's okay"s and "Calm down"s. His worst nightmares have now come true. Jericho drowned in self-pity until he fell to sleep, perhaps hoping to never wake.

-TT-

Another dream, in the night he hoped most for a dreamless sleep. He wasn't running this time, but walking, almost strolling on a seashore at twilight hour. And he could see again. He gaped to the distance, to the uncertain sun, half here, half gone. Nothing to fear, nothing chasing after him. Just the warm sand beneath his bare feet.

Then, suddenly, he saw something in the shore- a person standing on top of rock. He couldn't quite make out who it was, so he easily jogged near. When he saw who it was, he fell back on the sand. Monochrome, laughing maniacally. "You can't do anything now, can you?". Jericho couldn't move, but in a second Monochrome's image turned to dust, then formed the image of Robin, which gloated "Maybe we'll check you in a home, we don't have time to deal with cripples". Jericho began crying uncontrollably as Robin shifted to Raven. "Leave him alone. Let him soak in his own sorrows. No hope for him anymore". Jericho stopped struggling with his immobility, and the dust settled. Jericho shouted in his head, and the shout was heard loudly all around him- "No!" he cried helplessly. The sand began taking shape again, and Jericho found Herald looking at him compassionately. "You will always be one of us" he said kindly, and Jericho sniffled. Suddenly he felt his hand gaining power again. He wiped the tears from his face and herald dissipated, and Jericho watched as the sand turned into the small and cheerful image of Kole, that looked at him, smiling, and put out her hand, that apparently clenched something inside.

"Looking for these?" She happily asked, and Jericho gasped with amazement as he saw his two green eyes in her hand, filled with renewed hope. He reached his own hand and took them from Kole, and her image settled and faded away, as Jericho woke up.

-TT-

Jericho felt a tingling in his face, and with a hesitant motion removed his bandages. He was shocked to be staring straight across the room to a mirror. His eyes were back where they were. His head rushed with excitement as he ran from the bed quickly to the common room, where his fellow Titans were, dejected and blue. As soon as they saw his eyes their mouths opened in shock. "Jericho!" Kole rejoiced, "Your eyes are back!" and she squeezed him tightly with the one hand that wasn't in a cast. "But, how?" Robin asked. Jericho smiled, and said nothing. He just enjoyed the carefree silence, for the first time.


End file.
